Dragon age origins parody: Sleeping beauty
by Revan Sama
Summary: Noble gentlemen and noble ladies reader, I humbly present you my new piece of work: Dragon age origins: Sleeping beauty parody !  Female warden cousland x Alistair.
1. The beginning of trouble

Author: Revan sama.

Game: Dragon age origins.

Warning: Not serious at all.

Summary: Noble gentlemen and noble ladies reader, I humbly present you my new piece of work :

**Dragon age origins: Sleeping beauty parody !**

**Chapter One: The beginning of trouble.**

In a land far, far away, a King with low gain and his gorgeous queen were celebrating the birth of their first born : The royal heir!

"You are aware that this marriage exist ONLY within this mediocre fairytale, right?"  
>(Anora as the queen, No surprise really...)<p>

"This is an outrage! Why would I marry my own daughter? ! That's probably an Orlaisian thing to do!  
>It's all the Grey wardens and the Orlisians' fault! Yada Yada Yada (and more rambling)"<br>(Loghain as the king, Now this is a surprise! A bit sick though)

Everyone in the Kingdome gathered at the palace to celebrate.

Among the guests were three good fairies who each offered to bless the child with a gift.

"Oh, How exciting to have such a wonderful role in this fairytale, it will be fun!"  
>(Leliana as the fairy with a red dress)<p>

"I'm going to have issues about getting cast as a wand-waving old bitty"  
>(Wynne as the fairy with a blue dress)<p>

"Woof !"  
>(Barkspawn the dog as the fairy with a green collar)<p>

I, the narrator, will be the translator for barkspawn.

Leliana was the first one who would give her gift to the child.

"I bless the princess with good looks, and impeccable fashion sense!"

God preserve us...

The next was Barkspawn the dog fairy to give his gift.

"Woof, woof, woof,"

Translation: I bless the princess with a hunger for cheese that can never be satiated.

"There goes our grocery bill." said the queen Anora.

"It's going to stink the cheese all over the place." said the king loghain.

The next was the fairy Wynne to give her gift.

"I bless the princess with intellig-"

But before she could give her gift the festivities were interrupted BY...!

"Tis most annoying, why should I play the villain? I saved the warden at the end of the game, I'm a hero!"  
>(Morrigan as the wicked witch, again, unsurprising)<p>

It was the wicked witch who lived in the Korcari wilds. She resented not being invited!

"It's not very polite to interrupt dear." Said Wynne.

"Oh, Shut it old woman, Tis already nerving that I have to take Flemeth's role while she is sick." Said Morrigan

"So, I shall lay a curse on this idiotic looking Blondie child."

"I think The dog beat you to it with his blessing for our child to be a cheese lover." said Anora

Morrigan looked at queen Anora for a second and smirked.

"Tis so? Cheese...Alright then."

After using her staff on the child she said:

"On your child sixteenth birthday, He will eat a poisoned cheese and then HE WILL DIE!"

OHOHOH. After her warning and her evil laugh, Witch Morrigan vanished from the castle.  
>But hope was not lost, for the third fairy, Wynne, Had not yet give her gift...<p>

"I was going to make him smart...But...What's a few lacking brain cells, eh?" said Wynne.

A few?

"So, Rather than suffering death by eating evil cheese, your child will remain unconscious until wakened by true love's kiss!"

"GAPS, That so romantic!" Said Leliana.

-Dog whining -

Barkspawn the dog disapprove.

"You're not the only one..." Said King Loghain.

"The wedding with the 'true love' will cost us a fortune...Bah as long as I can stay queen." said queen Anora.

**END OF CHAPTER ONE.**

Author's note: Can you guess who will be in the princess role? We will see in chapter Two!


	2. A fateful meeting

Author: Revan sama.

Game: Dragon age origins.

Warning: Not serious at all.

Summary: Noble gentlemen and noble ladies reader, I humbly present you my new piece of work :

Dragon age origins: Sleeping beauty parody !

**Chapter Two: The fateful meeting.**

The king Loghain and the queen Anora were determined to prevent the curse placed on the princess by the wicked witch Morrigan and sent out a command that all cheeses existing in the whole kingdom should be destroyed.

"We should just gave him to the Orlaisian. He is too much trouble" said the king Loghain.

"Let's look on the bright side. We won't have a stinky and cheesy kingdom and most of all...I got to stay queen! Right father-...I MEAN...My husband." said queen Anora.

"ANORA! As the king of this fairy tale I demand that you don't have a father complex! Or we will be no better than the Orlaisian."

"Argh, you and your Orlaisian. You sound like your having an affair with them."

"WHAT? !"

No one in the kingdom was allowed to tell other kingdom about the princess' curse.

Because if the princess couldn't get married with a prince of another kingdom, they won't be able to get rid of the princess!

For the safety of the child and most of all for Anora to stay queen, Leliana, barkspawn and Wynne decided to bring the child with them in their home to protect him from evil witch Morrigan.

They were so sad and tormented to let away their precious child.

"Good, get rid of it." said king Loghain.

The baby cry.

"woof, woof, woof"

Translation of barkspawn: "Oh, don't be such a drama queen."

"I AM THE QUEEN !" said Anora.

"Yes, dear we know..." said Wynne the fairy.

"Let us go raise the child in our home in the woods." said Leliana the fairy.

But little they know, is that the witch Morrigan was spying on them with a crystal ball.

"What kind of a witch do you think I am? ! I do not need a crystal ball to spy on those weakling fairies. And the dog doesn't count." said the wicked witch Morrigan while staring at the crystal ball

So what is your plan to trick the princess?

"OhOhOh my plan to kill the princess is sooo smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about!"

In other word you haven't found anything...

"Of course I have plan! Tis very simple, I..."

"Morrigan! Where is chicken soup? I can't find it in the fridge!" said a false sick Flemeth.

(Morrigan is cursing)

"Wait a second here, then I'll explain to you my evil plan."

10 minutes later.

"Argh, I can't believe my mother, She can be a badass boss by turning herself into a dragon but she can't find the chicken soup I made for her in the kitchen." said a frustrated Morrigan.

"So, Because of the crystal ball, I know which woods they have their house in it.  
>Then I wait until the kid have his sixteenth, they will think that I have gave up.<br>HOWEVER when the kid will be alone, I'll strike an epic type of cheese that he won't resist and then he will DIE OHOHOH!"

That plan sucks.

"If you have a better one, please feel free to share."

Back to the nice fairies.

They have raised the child until his sixteenth birthday.

They called him...

"I'm so hungry, what's for dinner today?"  
>(Alistair as the princess.)<p>

He grew up to be handsome and stylish (Leliana wouldn't have it another way).

His love for cheese is an unspeakable horror.

His eyes would simply glow when he heard the word 'cheese' even if it's just to make a photography.

And he was...Simple mind too.

"It's either intelligence or die because of eating evil cheese." said Wynne.

"woof !"

Barkspawn the dog approve.

His sixteenth birthday arrived sooner than anyone expected.

"Great, do that mean that I am older than I already was?" asked Wynne.

Actually, no you are the same as before, we wouldn't make you die so soon.

The fairy Leliana was very excited : "I'll make a wonderful red dress for Alistair, Ah, but we have to shave his legs first and then his..."

That was...Far too much information.

As the fairies prepared his return to the castle, Princess Alistair was trying to find some food in the woods.

"Berries are fine...But it's not yellow...It has not delicious odor...It's not..."

Yeah, Yeah we got it, it's not cheese.

As he searched desperately some cheese...In the woods...He was called by someone:

"Excuse me, could you please tell me where is the exit of those woods?"  
>(Ellisa Cousland the warden as the prince)<p>

As he turned around to answer, Princess Alistair saw :

An angel !

...

Holding a piece of gruyere.

**END OF CHAPTER TWO.**


End file.
